Emily Krueger
Nursing school student, mother, and suicide survivor
All I knew was, I didn’t choose depression, it chose me. I’d seen it rip apart families, tear up sweet souls, and steal lives of innocent people. And it was after me, too. The day I met depression, I was sure it had ahold of me. I could feel it lurking in every ounce of my mind and body.
It stole nearly everything that was me:
My energy.
My strength.
My sleep.
My habits.
My thoughts.
My hopes.
Even my faith.
The day I met depression was the day my life nearly stopped; I stood in front of a mirror and looked depression straight in the eye. We battled. I almost lost.
In the year 2006, I was 16 years old and I survived a battle with suicide.
I don’t really know why, but I was given another chance at life. My heart was still beating, my lungs were still breathing, and I was still alive.
Everything you could hear and imagine was in that hospital room: IVs, wires, tubes, hoses, beeps, screams, weeping, the works. But the best part was the ghostly, pale faces of my dear family.
How in the world did I let the world’s worst enemy nearly kill me?
The memory is a slight blur, but to be honest, I'm ok with that. Sometimes I feel ashamed of my past, not because I tried to end my life, but because of what I put my family through. I try my best to look at the bright side in this, which is:
I will never attempt to battle with depression again, alone.
I have so much to live for now, and my life has turned out much better than I ever thought it could. That's why I'm glad I lived. If you are hurting and looking depression in the mirror as I did, don't face the battle alone. You have things in the future worth living for. Choose to get help. Choose life.
There are many safe places to get support.
1-800-SUICIDE
1-714-NEWTEEN
Text: teen2teen to 839863
You can contact any of these numbers, even if you just want to talk or get information.
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